20 Ways To Annoy People In A Plane
by UndeCideD94
Summary: when the Cullens go for a trip around the world and alice gets bored what happens? she takes emmetts advice thats what. join them in their games on the plane. will it be put to an end before it begins or will it be just what the doctor ordered?
1. Chapter 1

Ways to Annoy People in a Plane

_So I thought that I would make this into a one shot. It is set after breaking dawn and the Cullens all want to get away from all the drama they had in the past so they're taking a trip around the world. Alice gets bored on the plane and has an idea._

:) (:

_**Bella P.O.V**_

"Guys, I'm bored!" Alice cried for about the hundredth time since we got onto this flight...and it hasn't even left the ground yet!

"Alice dear, try to calm down and -" Esme answered her _again_, but this time she was interrupted by Emmett's booming voice. "I know what we can do! Ali, do you have your portable internet access thingie?"

"Of course Em, you never know when you need to buy clothes. Why?"

"Well Ali, the other day I was looking at things to do when you're bored and I found this website about how these group of friends played a game of truth, dare, kiss or hug and they ended up having the best time playing tricks on people on the bus with them! So thought that we could do the same on the plane, but we have to come up with our own ideas they don't tell us what they did. Look! But, they said that that was the most fun coming up with things for each other to do! So, can we play _PPPLLLEEEAAAASSSEEE?_" he begged.

"Emmett that's a great idea!" Alice cried.

"If it makes you guys shut up then I'm in." Rosalie said.

"I'll do anything to make Alice happy and if it makes you guys all fell a little less than dead I'm in! I mean seriously I feel like I'm in a cemetery at the moment." Jasper added.

"Can I play to mummy please?" My baby asked me. Although technically she is now a teenager in looks.

"Of course, sweetie." I answered. Seeing Edwards pointed look I removed my shield and answered him. _We did take her away from Jake, it's the least we could do. _I saw as his eyes looked at our daughter with love and her nodded ever so slightly.

"If my daughter is in then so am I" Edward added.

"Me too" I said.

"That leaves Carlisle and Esme...pleeeaaase mum, dad?" Alice asked releasing her puppy dog eye on them.

"Alice Mary Brandon Cullen, you know that I can't say no to your puppy dog eyes!" Esme said in defeat.

"YAY! Mum is playing" she cheered getting looks from people around. "That leaves Carlisle...I'm sorry dad, I'll sit quietly." She said with a completely devastated look.

"But, I didn't even give you my answer Alice. How do you know I'm gonna say no. Anything is better that sitting on this flight. Besides if I don't play who is gonna control you kids and it's about time I taught you all a lesson." Carlisle said with a smirk at the looks on our faces.

"Awesome, we get to make dad do things he wouldn't normally do!" Emmett, obviously.

"Okay, so this is how it will go, Bella you block me form looking into the future, even with Nessie here I can see if she is far enough away and you have to block out everyone's thoughts Edward." Alice began in a very bossy tone. But I did as I was asked, I learnt long ago never to cross Alice.

"I will put everyone's names into a hat to see who will go first...unless someone volunteers-"

"I do! I pick DARE! Because I'm a MAN!" Emmett all but screamed seeming very proud of himself.

"Okay, so, Emmett goes first, we will all agree on something for him to do. Then he will choose who goes after him. Got it? Good! Let's go we'll start when the plane takes off! ... it's a good thing that I bought my video camera, I had a feeling we would need it!" she mumbled the end to herself.

...

_A few minutes later!_

_Emmett P.O.V_

15 minutes later the plane took off and we began our game.

"Okay so Em, we have all agreed that you will go around the plane doing squats in the hallway until someone asks you what you're doing, and when they tell you that you shouldn't be doing that you start to cry and run away screaming that they called you fat and ugly and that now you want to kill yourself. It's an easy one. But the others will be hell!" My pixie of a sister said.

Well they can give me whatever they want I will face it like the man I am. I quickly gave my Rosie a huge smile and went off to do my thing. This was going to be one loooooong plane ride...for the other passengers that is. For us it is going to be VERY FUN!

_A/N: so, let the games begin! I hope you all like this. It was inspired by a list that I use to have up. I was told in a review that it would be better off as a story so here I am writing it. Enjoy!_


	2. Emmett's Way Of Doing Things

**A/n: okay so I have a new poll up and I would really appreciate it if people would vote and give me an idea as to what they want. That's about all so here's the next chapter enjoy!**

_**Previously:**_

_Well they can give me whatever they want I will face it like the man I am. I quickly gave my Rosie a huge smile and went off to do my thing. This was going to be one loooooong plane ride...for the other passengers that is. For us it is going to be VERY FUN!_

_..._

Alice P.O.V

Oh my gosh, I'm soooooooo glad that Emmett suggested this game because if he didn't then we would have been in for a very long plane ride!

Once I told Emmett his dare I was so excited that I began jumping up and down in my seat, but then my Sothern Gentleman put his hand on my arm and gave me one of his smiles.

Even though I was sitting down and was a vampire I could still feel my knees go weak and I almost forgot my train of thought...almost but not quite.

I mean, how can I forget about something which will inevitably be one of the memories that we will never forget.

I felt the calming waves over come me and I eventually I stopped bouncing in my seat and sent a thankful yet sheepish look at my Jazzie.

As I turned back to watch Emmett's progress I realised that the camera wasn't anywhere to be seen and I started to panic. We had to film this, who else was going to record the next chapter of the Cullen's life?

I looked around in panic and saw it in Bella's hand. She caught me looking at her and winked. That's when I heard Emmett cry out.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T DO THAT IN THE HALLWAY? ARE YOU SAYING TAHT I'M FAT? WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He cried running up to Rosalie and said:

"Rosie, that girl said that I'm fat. I'm gonna kill myself now! Wwwwwwwaaaaaaa!"

Rosalie being Rosalie, gave the girl one of her biggest 'if you so much as look at my Emmett again I will hunt you down and kill you!'. As soon as the girl saw this she got up from her seat and ran to the toilet with a petrified look on her face.

"It's okay Em, she's gone." Rosalie said. "And I don't think that she will be back for a while." She added as an afterthought.

Emmett removed his hands from his face and looked up and around smiling widely.

Those who had seen what had happened were either silently laughing or looking thoroughly disgusted by what we had done to the girl...not that we cared, I mean I felt sorry for her sure but, she'll get over it.

It is after all in the name of a good cause...to make Alice Cullen happy! People should be more understanding and less selfish...like me!

...

_Emmett P.O.V_

As soon as I was told what I had to do I was off. Sure it was easy which was why I had to add my own little bits to it.

They can't seriously expect me to just leave it at what they gave me, I mean come on I AM A MAN!

So looking around I saw a girl who already looked annoyed and so I made my over to her and began doing lunges.

"Ahhhh, this looks like a good spot to begin" I said as I got ready to do my lunges. Everyone was looking at me like I had grown three heads even my Rosie.

Well, they had given me a boring dare so I put some Emmett into it and 'borrowed' a stewardess outfit to wear while performing my exercises.

"okay let's go." I said "1...2...3...4...ugh.5...ahhhh.6...ooooffff...7...8...oaahhhh...22...wow this feels good." I said sneaking a look at the girl. She looked ready to burst. So thought I'd take it up a notch.

"Hi, I'm Emmett. You know this feels really good. You should try it. It actually feels almost as good as when I'm with Rose and I should tell you that feels really good. She can do these really impressive things with her body." I said looking at her and smiling. Just a little more.

"Hey do you mind if I borrow your blanket for a bit?" I asked picking it up and using it to wipe away non-existent sweat.

As I did this I looked down and frowned. The girl catching this asked what was wrong, sounding as though she didn't really want to know.

"Oh, it's nothing really" I said to her placing the blanket back on top of her. "I was just thinking about the last time me and Rose was together. She was wearing this very outfit you know...and she didn't get a chance to wash it."

She grimaced looking at. Then as realisation of what was on top of her dawned on her she picked up the blanket and threw it away.

I looked at her with a look of angelic innocence on my face and asked if something was wrong.

She spluttered for a few seconds, her face turning an impressive shade of red that even Bella hadn't achieved. Then finally she seemed to calm down and said in a fairly controlled voice:

"You shouldn't be dressed that way in the hallway's in that outfit doing what you are...especially looking the way that you look."

Well it was now or never.

Doing my best to not laugh, I put on my best hurt and confused expression.

Pretending to have tears in my eyes I said "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T DO THAT IN THE HALLWAY? ARE YOU SAYING TAHT I'M FAT? WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I cried running up to Rosalie.

"Rosie, that girl said that I'm fat. I'm gonna kill myself now! Wwwwwwwaaaaaaa!" I cried really loudly, thinking that I might as well make the best of the situation. I could see Bella with the camera and very subtly pointed to the girl so that she could film her reaction without being seen.

I placed my head into my hands, heaving and spluttering nonsense to seem like I'm really upset.

I could still see everything though and so I didn't miss what happened next. Seeing it made me smile into my palms.

My sweet Rosie had looked up at the girl and given her one of her looks. I mean if looks alone could kill, not only the girl would be dead but everyone around her as well.

That was my Rosie.

I saw the girl get up and start to walk towards the toilets and felt a little bad for her.

Then Rose told me that she was gone and that I could look up. I did so smiling and saw that most of the people who had seen us was either laughing silently or shaking their heads in disgust.

Ignoring them all I looked at my family and smiled at them all evilly.

"So," I said, "who wants to go next?"

No one answered and they all looked down at their feet.

Rubbing my hands together I thought to myself _let the fun begin!_

"my first victim will be..."

_**A/N: who will Emmett pick? Well you guys are in control of that. You can go to my profile and vote for who you want to go next. Oh and plzzzz review. It really means a lot to me. I sped a lot of tie writing this stuff when I should be studying and when I get reviews it makes it seem all worthwhile.**_


	3. Evil Esme: Who Thought It Was Possible?

A/N: so I only really got one vote for my poll and I was really hoping for more. I'm gonna update now but this is probably the last until on maybe Wednesday or Thursday because that's when all my exams finish and I'm free! So plzzzzzzzz vote! AND REVIEW!

_Emmett POV_

I looked at everyone with an evil glint in my eye and took my time to answer. "I choose... Esme!" when I said this everyone just looked at me with relief except of course for my mum who was looking at e with a look of betrayal yet fear.

It actually made me feel a little guilty, but I pushed that aside and looked at everyone else who were now looking at Esme with relief yet sympathy.

"Ahem," I said clearing my throat to get their attention. When they all looked at me I turned to Esme and smirked evilly.

"Well, mum, what'll it be? Truth, dare, kiss or hug?" I asked with joy quite evident in my voice.

She looked like she was really thinking about this and I was completely sure that she would chose truth...but when she spoke she surprised us all.

"I choose dare."

As soon as she said this I heard a gasp come from everyone around and saw Carlisle looking at her like she had suddenly grown a third arm, while I simply just felt an evil smile grace my super sexy face!

It didn't turn out how I expected, but, it was even better.

_This was gonna be fun!_

**Carlisle POV**

As soon as my beautiful wife spoke those three little words I thought that she was ill. Sure she was a vampire but, there is a first time for everything. I mean, look at Bella and Edward they have a daughter, so why can't my wife be sick.

"Why are you all looking so shocked? Don't you think that I can pull it off? " she asked us all looking quite insulted.

We couldn't have that now could we? So I walked up to her, put my arm around her and said "of course not dear, it's just that we all think your very brave to take on Emmett's dare. Right, everyone?" I said, turning to glare at my very...difficult children.

"Oh, yeah, right!" they all said over enthusiastically.

"Or, just plain stupid." Muttered Rosalie. She could be very blunt and quite rude sometimes, even when she wasn't trying to be.

"What was that Rosalie?" I asked feigning deafness.

"Oh, n-nothing." She said looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"I thought so. Well, your mother is about to perform her dare, so let's all be supportive." I said turning to watch my gorgeous wife do her dare.

_Esme POV_

I will kill my son as soon as I finish my dare.

He know that I'm a naturally nice person and that I can't hurt people on purpose, yet he still goes and chooses a dare for me that I have to purposefully, physically hurt someone!

What kind of a son is he?

On second thoughts, what kind of a person am I to pick dare? Maybe Rosalie was right in calling me crazy.

As I made my way over to the middle of the plane and sat down next to man who was screaming at his beautiful wife about losing weight I thought to myself: _at least this man had it coming for him! How dare he scream at hr like that?_

I sat there for a while just thinking about when to do what I had to when he looked at me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing sitting next to me? This seat it taken." He said in a very rude tone.

I looked up and saw that my entire family was looking at him like they wanted to rip his head off.

I just smiled at them a little, and gave a special smile to my Carlisle who had even gotten up and taken a step forward. When he looked at me he sat back down, but still had a look of fury on his face.

I felt a surge of love for him and tried to shake it off, but didn't quite manage it. Instead, I gave an apologetic look to Jasper.

Well it was now or never.

I looked over at him and said "oh, gosh I'm so sorry I thought it was empty." And feeling a little brave I added "did I sit on your invisible friend?"

The look on his face was priceless but, I felt a little bad.

"I'm sorry sir, I'll leave." I said apologetically. Then after I got up I turned to him and screamed.

"Ahhhh, a spider" I squealed and punched him in the face. His wife started screaming and asking where it was along with me while he howled in pain and moved to cover his nose.

As he moved his hands to cover his face I punched him in the stomach screaming that it was there.

While he screamed in pain and his wife continued to ask where it was, I pretended to see it one more time and said: "There, below his belt" and punched him once more where it hurts the most.

That was when the stewardess came up and asked what all this commotion was about and I told her what I had 'seen'.

She looked down onto the ground and picked something up and showed me what it was.

"Is this your spider?" she asked me and I just nodded my head acting embarrassed.

I looked towards the couple and said that I was sorry. Then I made my way over to my family very quickly.

As soon as all the commotion had died down I turned to my family smirked at them and asked "so who's next?" they all looked at me then away, all quietly begging that I don't choose them next in that single look.

Well, well, well. Seems the power to mess with them is in my hands this time.

It feels...exhilarating.

_Alice POV_

Wow, mum was awesome in her dare.

I mean, at first I thought that she wouldn't go through with it. It was such an Emmett dare to punch a guy in the nose, stomach and final in his most prized possessions pretending to see a spider, that I almost fell out of my seat laughing.

But then mum went and actually did the dare and even put some extra humour into it with the jab at the guy, implying that he was crazy.

Although we found the dare quite entertaining that Emmett actually fell out of his seat laughing, no one was laughing when mum came back.

We were all quite petrified and scared.

To be honest, I was more scared of her mind than I was of Emmett's.

All those ties I showed her how to get revenge on people and she just laughed it off saying she had no use for it.

Well now she did...and she could use it on us, but she wouldn't would she? She was my mum.

"Mummy, you won't be too hard on us will you?" I asked her in the most innocent voice ever.

All she did was give me a look that said: _wouldn't I?_

It made me think about all those times where we had played games at home before.

We had broken furniture, walls, been in jail and broken at least one thing of Esme's on each occasion. And the last time we had played truth or dare we had ended up breaking her favourite antique vase...well, Emmett had, but we had dared him to dance to 'my heart will go on', and Emmett doing ballet is not a good idea.

Esme had come home and looked at her house with sadness.

On every occasion she would end up remodelling the house.

She would also always look at her antique vase next to make sure it was ok, but that day it wasn't and she was very mad.

I wasn't allowed near my mall or my Jasper, Emmett and Rose could not see each other, Rose wasn't allowed to shop either, Edward wasn't allowed near his piano, Jasper couldn't touch his books, neither could Bella and Renesmee wasn't punished at all, which wasn't fair since it was her idea.

Well, she did say that we should move the vase before we played, but still.

Her, Edward and Bella still got to see each other, probably because they are more responsible than the rest of us.

That's what made me realise that she wouldn't be nice.

_What have we done? _I thought to myself and looked around at everyone else.

From the looks of things they were thinking along the same lines as me:

_Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea! __(__**A/N; from Madagascar when the zebra, I forgot is name, says it running on the beach. You just take the first letter of each word and it spells S-H-I-T in case no one knows what I'm on about.**__)_

_Everyone else's POV_

**Uh-oh!**

A/N: so what do you guys think so far? Plzzz let me know in a review! I really love them. They sometimes make my day! Especially when I have an exam on Monday! So press that little button down there and tell me what you think. Also please vote on my poll. I already know what some of them are gonna do and the faster you review or vote the faster I get the chapter up! So quit wasting time and review or vote... or here's an even better idea do both!


	4. Barbie, Ken, Jasmine And The Civil War

A/N: apparently my exams don't seem to matter to me anymore, seeing as I can't seem to get off the computer and stop typing up chapter for a while to study...SO REVIEW AND TELL ME THAT I'M NT SCREWING OVER MY EXAMS FOR NOTHING! Oh, and please vote on my poll. Also if you guys have any ideas for dares or truths or whatever let me know in a review and you might just get mentioned in the story! I'm gonna introduce a character and I need a name for her, yes, it's a girl and, well she might just be in it for a while. Also she's gonna be the one that gets pranked.

_Esme's POV_

Well, well, well. Look who has them looking like deer in headlights now! ME!

I think that I'll play with them for a while.

"So, who would like to take up my challenge? Alice? Edward? Jasper? Who will I choose?" I sang watching them all visibly squirm.

Having this control was kind of refreshing. I already knew who I was going to choose, but I thought that I found let them suffer some more.

"So, are you all sorry about what you all did a few weeks ago? Breaking my favourite vase? If it wasn't for Jasper I probably would still be mad at you all!" I said giving my middle son a look which said 'you will pay'.

I was rewarded by watching him gulping and shrinking back.

Me, sweet, innocent Esme had just made my son who had lived through the civil war _and _killed who-knows-how-many newborn vampires gulp and shrink back.

I stood there for a few more minutes watching them all squirm a little more. Then I turned to my husband and gave him a small wink.

He looked at me with adoration, love, respect and amusement pouring out of his eyes. Then he gave me one of his small but subtle smiles which held all the love in the world.

Thinking that my children had been punished enough, I looked at them all and said:

"Jasper, what do you choose?"

"Truth" he said.

"Told you he'd be a sissy and choose truth" came Emmett's voice from the seat behind Jasper.

"I'm not a sissy" Jazz said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Fine, I pick dare." He said looking Emmett in the eyes, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Oooh, oooh, I have a new rule to be introduced" Emmett all but screamed earning himself a smack from Rose and a few glares from the passengers.

"What is it Em?" Alice asked with the same enthusiasm.

I swear I don't know what my family would be like without those two...in fact; I don't know what this family would be like without any of my children.

I remember when we left Bella, because Edward though it was best for her and I was attacked by a wave of pain.

I watched as Jasper flinched back from the pain and the others looked at us with curiosity.

Answering there curious gazes I said: "I was just thinking about what our life would be like without one of us."

You didn't need to be a mind reader to know that I was talking about the time that we had left Bella.

In an attempt to change the subject I turned to Emmett. "So, what was this new rule you wanted to introduce?"

"Huh? Oh, well I was just thinking that we should each only be allowed two truths and that we should only be allowed to perform dares. So cane we?"

"Emmett, that's a great idea!" Alice squealed. "So we all only get two truths...and no I'm not changing my mind Edward!" she huffed. We all learnt long ago not to bet against Alice so we just went along with it.

"Well, Jasper, are you ready for your dare?" I asked, sounding very much like Alice for a second.

...

_**Bella POV**_

Poor Jasper. I can't believe that Esme would make him do that! Although it should be pretty funny to watch. Even Edward seems to find this amusing having taken the video camera out of my hand and begun to film his brother embarrass himself, himself.

I felt a tug on my clothes and looked down at my daughter.

"What is it sweetie?" I asked her.

"Mummy I'm tired." She said with a yawn.

"'well why don't you go o sleep for a while? I'll wake you up when someone picks you okay?"

"'kay" she said, too tired to argue or complain.

"Edward, give camera to Ali and come help me" I whispered quietly so as not to wake my angel up. He immediately gave the camera to Alice and came to help me with Renesmee (A/N: I wanted to make Renesmee a baby even though I said that she is a teenager in looks. I want her to be a toddler about 4 years old, because of the dare I have planned for her.)

As Edward set up Renesmee's bed I saw Jasper come back out ready to do his dare, and couldn't help the laughter that escaped my mouth.

Hearing this Edward looked up and started laughing, while Emmett rolled on the floor and Jasper sent us all waves of embarrassment and a glare which made us all stop laughing.

_Jasper's POV_

I can't believe Esme's making me do this. She's my own mother for god's sake.

_This is so embarrassing! _I thought to myself as I got all of the things that I would need for y dare.

How did Alice even know at we would need all this stuff?

I quickly changed into my outfit and put on all my...um, necessary _equipment_ and walked out of the bathroom and back into the cabin, where they all started laughing at me when they saw what I looked like.

_Well two can play at that game. _I thought and sent them all waves of embarrassment and a glare, which immediately shut them up.

Walking up to the middle of the aisle and setting up my dare was probably the most embarrassing thing that I have ever done.

No wait, scratch that what I did next was even more embarrassing.

Setting up all the Barbie and ken dolls that I had, thanks to Alice of course, to make it look like the civil war.

Then I continued to act out the war from the beginning to the end. Even though it went against all of my instincts, morals and beliefs I had no choice to complete his dare or else I would have to face the forfeit and knowing my family it will not be something bearable.

I could hear laughter echoing up and down the hallway; even some of the stewardesses had come to watch the show.

But that wasn't all I could feel. There was lust coming off of most of the females staring at me.

There was also jealousy and looking up I could see the little frown on my angels face and gave her a reassuring smile to let her knew that I only loved her.

I saw the frown disappear from her face to be replaced with an angelic smile, with that I turned back to my dare.

From the corner of my eyes I could see my family in hysterics, even my pixie.

When she caught me looking at her she gave me a sympathetic smile but it didn't stop her from laughing at me like the rest.

On the bright side I get my revenge on someone. That thought alone cheered me up and put and evil and cunning smile to my face.

I could feel the confusion and fear coming off of my siblings and parents, they were scared. So they should be. I would exact my revenge on them.

_Rosalie POV_

I watched as my twin walked out of the bathroom and into the middle of the aisle.

This moment alone was price less and worth million bucks.

From the looks of things he has a lot to learn if he tins that whatever it was that he had put onto his face was makeup.

Jasper was wearing a Barbie doll beach outfit...and it didn't really fit him.

He was wearing mini-shorts which showed everything, and I mean everything, they were so tight. Instead do of a top Alice had given him a bikini top which he had filled with tissue paper to make him look similar to a Barbie doll. And on top of his head was a _very_ ugly blonde wig. It looked more like a yellow rat in my opinion!

Then there was his face which for all intents and purposes should be under a plastic bag.

I mean, seriously how bad can one person be at putting on a little eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. Even Emmett can do better and that, and that's saying something, considering.

As he set all his dolls up Jasper started his playacting in a really high-pitched voice.

"So, ken, what do you want to do?" he asked one doll.

"I know Barbie, why don't we act out the civil world war?" he answered playing with a ken doll and making his voice deeper.

"Ohhhhh, yeah, let's do that!" he squealed and it took all my effort to keep from falling out of my set in laughter.

I have no idea how Alice kept the camera so steady while her body was shaking with laughter.

As Jasper was 'performing' I looked around to see that almost every single female here was lusting after hi, which I found thoroughly disturbing, I mean he was my brother.

I turned to look at Alice and see how she was taking all these girls looking at her husband.

Looking at Alice I saw that she was frowning and that the green eyed monster in her was coming out. I was about to tell her to calm down (I didn't want our secret to be exposed) when her frown disappeared and was replaced by a smile.

I turned back to see Jasper smiling at her. Letting her know that he only had eyes for her, it was disgusting but adorable none-the-less.

_Emmett POV_

Seeing Jasper coming back to us made me realise that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to call him a sissy...or to have dobbed him and Alice in for doing it in Edward's Volvo, which caused a fight between the two and it ended with Edward burning one of his favourite books.

Not the best idea I've had...

Watching Jasper come back to us ripping the blonde wig off his head I said: "Awwwww, I miss jasmine bring her back!"

I really don't know when to stop do I?

Looking around everyone was looking at me like I had developed some sort of deadly disease. Well it didn't matter. He wouldn't choose me...would he? I mean Edward burned his book!

_Yeah, and you dobbed him in! _Said a voice in the back of my head.

One more look at him told me that he would.

_Jasper POV_

As I walked back to my family I ripped off the stupid wig and threw it on the floor.

I was not in a good mood, and Emmett trying to provoke me just made my mood even worse.

Looking at him I said: "If you want to be on my hit list the by all means go on keep provoking me Em, you might just lose a limb."

"BOYS!" Esme cried.

"Sorry, mum." We both mumbled.

"Well, it seems it's my turn to choose. Who will it be?" I teased them.

Looking around I thought, _you don't mess with Jasper!_ And it just made me smile even more, thus, scaring the carp out of my family!

_**A/N: so, who will Jasper choose? Well looks like you'll have to wait and se won't you!**_

_**Oh, and if you want quick updates then I suggest you get reviewing!**_


	5. Author's Note

AN: okay so I had this idea about a twilight fanfic and thought I'd get an Idea of what you guys think. I have everything set up and ready to go I even wrote a prologue. So I was just wondering if you all think that I should write it or not. Let me know in a review plz?

Sorry this isn't a chapter, but here's the summary:

**It's been a hundred and fifty years since Edward left Bella in new moon and he is now getting married to a human girl, who looks a lot like Bella. What will she do? **

**Bella is one of the most powerful vampires alive and she has finally healed from Edward's departure. Sure it still hurts but she is better and living her life. She is also princess Volturi and happy. But, what happens when the Cullen's come over for Edward's wedding?**

**Will she be happy for him or hurt that he found someone else? And what secret is she keeping about her human life that she refuses to share with anyone but Rosalie? And how does Rose know her secret? **

**So many questions, not so many answers. Read to find out!**

Let me know what you think!


	6. FML!

_**Yeah, yeah I know I haven't updated in ages! But school sucks and I've basically failed in every subject I have and got the 'we're so disappointed in you' speech...which meant no computer for me! So now I really have to pick up on all my stories all over again and I'm not even sure where I left them off...Oh god! Soooo please review and make my day again! **_

_Jasper P.O.V_

Looking at my family squirm in front of me gave a sort of thrill that I had this affect on them. It was amazing how a person's emotions could change so quickly from laughter and amusement into that of fear and absolute horror...it was amazing and I absolutely loved it.

Yeah, yeah... I know what ya'll are thinking: 'I'm sick if I enjoy torturing my family so much'...but you don't understand, I've been waiting for this day ever since I first met everyone.

Not my Alice of course...but everyone else, I've wanted to get back at for something.

Now all I had to do was choose who the perfect person for my dare would be...

_? P.O.V_

I can't believe he is making me do this!

I mean what the hell have I done to him to deserve this torture?

I will never be able to look Edward in the eye the same way again... I can't believe that Jasper would embarrass me like this! What have I ever done to him to encourage this type of torture...?

Okay well I admit there was that one time where I made him dress up as a nurse because Renesmee wanted a real live barbie doll to play dress ups with. No one but Jasper was home and so I asked him to play with her. It's not like I knew that Nessie wanted to play doctors... Just like I didn't know that he was to be the nurse who got injured while she was the doctor fixing him up.

... I mean all I did was provide the girl with the outfit...and now looking back I remember Jasper's main excuse to get out of the whole situation was that there was no outfit for him to dress up.

Perhaps I should have gone along with him and told Nessie that there was no nurse outfit for Jasper to wear, rather than run out with the outfit at hand. I also probably shouldn't have shoved it into Jasper's hands telling him that he and Alice had just bought the nurse outfit last week.

Sometimes I cannot believe my own stupidity.

Either way, Jasper will pay for this...

_EVRYONE ELSE POV_

OMG!

Jasper is plain eviiiiiiil!

_Edward POV_

I cannot believe Jasper. I just cannot believe him!

That evil vampire-barbie brother of mine has found a way to torture two people in our family with just one dare!

Only his sick brain is able to come up with something as evil as this... I bet it's all because of that time where my baby girl made him dress up as a nurse, or it could quite possibly be about that time where I burnt his favourite war book.

But I think it's mainly about the nurse incident.

I mean, just because I put the idea into Nessie's head doesn't make the whole thing my fault. His wife knew about it, that's why she bought the outfit in the first place. The blame should be solely on her! She's the one who didn't warn him and the one who bought the outfit! But he seems to just overlook that fact! What kind of a brother is he?

Anyway, I wouldn't have told Nessie to do anything like that and Emmett wouldn't have caught them and told me, if he and Alice could have held themselves together for a little while longer and reached their room, rather gotten down and dirty IN MY PRECIOUS VOLVO!

I had to get rid of the seat and have them all replaced! Then I had to have it all thoroughly cleaned...SEVEN TIMES...and even then I still felt disgusted and grossed out about even setting foot into my Volvo. I had to get a newer mode and destroy my old one...it was one of the hardest moments of my life.

Everyone found it ENORMOUSLY funny that I was so wound up about my car and made fun of me... even Jasper and that was what tipped me over the edge.

So, I pretended to get over it and got my innocent daughter involved in my payback, knowing that no one would suspect this of her (yea, I kinda feel guilty about that). I set up cameras all over the house from different angles to record the going-ons.

Then once I had my 'evidence' I put it up on a website for all to see and comment on. (Luckily for me there was no vampire-ness to be seen). I also put Jazz's number at the bottom saying that he was looking for an acting job and if there were any auditions open to let him know cause he was desperate.

Revenge is sweet, especially when you have a whole site dedicated to it! *insert evil laugh here*

_? POV_

Well here goes nothing...

FML!

_**So let me know what you think about the chapter...oh, and my updates will be more regular from now on since school is on a temporary break...and I have a lot of free time. **_

_**And just so y'all know I have got the next chapter written...but I still wanna hear about who you guys think is the person chosen for Jasper's dare and what the dare is. **_

_**If I get 5 reviews then I'll update tomorrow...so PLEASE REVIEW! And vote on my pole...or better yet, DO BOTH! **_

_**Either way everytime I see an email form fanfic I get super excited and smile at the computer like crazy when I read a review! They mean the world to me so pleaaaaaaaaase REVIEW!**_


	7. Doctor In Jeopardy

**Doctor In Jeopardy**

**So I guess you can all guess from the title of the chapter who the 'chosen one' for Jasper's dare is. Anyway I only got one review last time and I just wanna thank them for putting aside a minute or two of their time to comment on my fic. I'm really sorry I can't remember your name cause I'm currently writing this while I'm half asleep! But you will get a mention in the next chapter! Again thank you so much! And for everyone else reading pleaaaaaaaaaaase review! Love you all! ENJOY!**

_**Esme POV**_

Oh, my poor Carlisle! Why would my Jasper do this to him?

Sure, I remember the whole nurse incident but I never really got the whole story from anyone. Edward was too pleased with himself, so I understood that he had played a role, but shouldn't that mean he should be targeting Edward and not dear Carlisle...then again in a way he is targeting Edward as well. After this dare goes down, I don't think Carlisle and Edward will ever be able to look at each other the same way again.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to play this game...but then again, knowing Carlisle he will get Jasper back one way or another...actually this dare might backfire on Jasper in a way...

_**Edward POV**_

I. WILL. KILL. HIM!  
I will tear his limbs apart then wait for them to reattach and KILL HIM AGIAN!

Turning, I saw Alice's dark face and decided I will just burn his motorbike ...she never liked that thing, so she won't mind. Jasper loved it though and it made it all that much sweeter. Besides he made me get rid of my precious Volvo and laughed at me. It's only fair that I destroy the thing he cares about most...apart from Alice, of course.

I do not want to be under Alice's wrath and Esme wouldn't like it if I killed one of her sons, so I'll just stick to burning his bike!

I turned again to look at Alice and saw that she had a look of glee on her face to finally get rid of that bike. She didn't like it 'cause she claimed it gave her helmet hair. I told her not to wear a helmet and she just glared at me, saying that it won't make a difference, and the wind will just ruin her hair without the helmet.

What is it with girls and hair...maybe I should just shave Alice's hair off after we get back, that way she won't need to worry about it.

As soon as I thought about it, I heard a loud gasp leave Alice's mouth.

"You wouldn't" she said looking like she would cry if she could.

"Don't worry Alice, I'd never do that to you...even if your husband is an evil asswipe." I muttered under my breath.

Alice just giggled.

_Sigh...what has my life come to?_

FML!

_**Carlisle POV (bet you've all been wondering what the dare is huh? Well I'm not sure if I wanna reveal it yet...jks I'm not that cruel! ENJOY! And then review...Plssssssssssssss )**_

So, Jasper thinks he can get the better of me does he? Well we'll see what he thinks when I exact my revenge on him...in the most cruellest way I can think!

Muahahahahaahaha...WTF, did I just do?

Did I just laugh like one of those retarded villains in vampire movies?

As I walked towards the person I was to 'talk' to I felt a little sorry for her when she saw me approaching her... I mean after Emmett, I was pretty sure she was scarred for life and seeing me approaching her was probably doing nothing for her emotional health.

This was confirmed when I saw her visibly gulp, and thought about checking her blood pressure...

But, I couldn't let her see the look of sympathy on my face, so, instead I just smiled at her and took the vacant seat next to her.

After sitting in an uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes I turned to her and spoke.

"So, my adoptive son over there," I said pointing at Emmett, "said that you're a great listener and helped him to get over his self-consciousness about his weight and I was wondering if you would be an angel and help me with my dilemma?" I asked her in my 'take pity on me' voice.

I saw the girl take a quick peek at my family, in particular Rosalie, and I assumed that she would rather endure the torture I would put he through rather than face Rosalie.

...Little did this poor, poor girl know what was coming.

_**Jasper POV**_

That's what you get for messing with me!

I mean I survived a war with newborns and the civil world war...you don't dress someone like me up in a nurse outfit and barbie clothes...or make an embarrassing website about me unless you want me to exact my revenge.

I mean I have GREAT plotting and planning skills. I WILL MAKE YOU PAY IF YOU MESS WITH ME!

...just like I'm doing right now!

Muahahahaahahaha...Ignore that, I DID NOT LAUGH LIKE AN IDIOT IN MY HEAD! GOT IT!

And now I'm talking to myself...WTF is wrong with me?

_**Rosalie POV**_

I saw the girl looking at me and thought that I'd send her a smile.

When she saw this she visibly paled and turned back to Carlisle...C'mon I'm not THAT scary, right?

_**Carlisle POV**_

When the girl turned back to me and nodded for me to talk, it was my turn to gulp.

_I'm so sorry Edward. _I thought to myself, while looking down into my lap.

When I finally had the courage to look back up at the girl, I had built up my resolve to come right out and say what I had to.

"Okay, I don't really know where to begin..." I said to her.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" she asked in a slightly nervous yet annoyed voice.

"Ummm, well see, a few years ago, I started to feel these weird things towards my son and I didn't know what they are...I'm still not really sure what they are." I said mortified with myself.

I snuck a look at the girl and I was pretty sure that her face held the same look as mine.

"C-continue" she said, sounding as if she would rather I shut the hell up and walked away. Actually _I _wanted to shut the hell up and walk away but there was no way I would be taking the forfeit and so I continued in my mission to embarrass the hell out of me and Edward.

"Well, just a few weeks ago I started to have these weird dreams. I am able to control my emotions and feelings now but the dreams are something else entirely. Slowly I began to realise that I was no longer feeling as attracted to my wife as I was before and I would constantly find myself staring at my eldest son, Edward." I spoke a quietly as I could, trying to keep a little bit of my dignity.

I saw the girl looking at my family and trying to figure out who the sorry victim of my feelings were "he's the one with the bronze hair" I said to the girl, I still didn't know her name and I wanted to keep it that way. Therefore, I could try and forget this whole sorry act, but I doubted that would ever happen.

She turned back to me and nodded looking embarrassed, while I continued.

"Well, in these dreams it would be me and Edward talking and then everything would change and we would be in...ummmm, in ahh, in com-compromising positions?" I said making it sound more like a question rather than a statement.

She looked at me like she was about to cry and I thanked whatever god was out there that this dare was almost over.

"But then I would wake up and feel confused as to why this was happening. I mean, in most of the dreams the most we did was kiss, but in one of them we got a bit further than kissing and clothes started to come off." I said all in one breathe before I lost all of my courage.

"I mean, if my wife hadn't of woke me up I don't know what would have happened." I said with a shudder.

"She told me that I was having a nightmare and that she was worried about me. In a way it was true, I was having a nightmare, because I didn't _enjoy_ any of it like I would have with my wife." I said to her in an honest voice.

She looked at me for a while, and then glanced at my family; looking back and forth between us.

Then when her eyes finally settled back on me, she opened her mouth a couple of times before closing it again.

When she finally opened her mouth and spoke again, it had been exactly 2 minutes and 23 seconds...I had counted how long I had to sit in this awkward silence with my family trying to conceal their laughter.

"I think your entire family should see a psychologist. You guys have some issues. Oh, and I recommend you speak to your wife and son about your...umm, _dreams._" She said in a voice that sounded as if she would like for me to leave her alone.

Well I wasn't going to argue with her and so I made my way over to my family.

But before I did, I turned to the girl and said with a smile: "Thank you so much! You've been a great help. Emmett was right, and that doesn't happen very often!"

She just looked at me like I was crazy and muttered under her breath: "Glad I could be of use to your family of weirdos..."

I just smiled thinking about how I was going to get my revenge on Jasper.

Oh, how I love to be in charge!

I walked over to my family smiling a smile they've never seen before and from the looks on their faces they were petrified...especially Jasper, who was trying to send me waves of peace and tranquillity. I just looked at Bella and she blocked them from even reaching me and I smiled even wider when I saw Jasper gulp loudly and shrink back.

Bet he was regretting the dare he chose me now...but no, I'm not going to chose him.

I have something special planned for one of my children...something to make then PAY!

**sooo, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I apologise for any mistakes and errors. But I would love a review, even if it is to just tell me to update faster. If no one reviews I feel as if no one is reading and I don;t feel motivated to write. But even a single review will change that!  
I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as the others but I was half asleep when I wrote this and I did try to do my best!**

**So please leave me a comment and I'll try and update as soon as I can! I'm trying to update all my other stories as well so it might be at least a week before I update this one again. Thanks to all! Love you guys. Please leave a review and vote on my poll.**

**Plus I would love ideas for dares and anyone who gives me a dare will get a mention in the chapter of story! Soo what are you waiting for? REVIEW! Xoxoxoxo**


	8. Expectations

**So I'm updating today cause I've got nothing better to do and I haven't really been able to stop writing this story! I just absolutely LOVE the idea of making the cullens do things they normally wouldn't...I'm sick I know! LOL but I don't care! Hope you all enjoy the chappie and please leave me some love at the end and review! **

**JUST WANNA PUT A HUGE SHOUT OUT, OUT THERE FOR MY ONLY TO REVIEWERS (not sure if you guys ever get my replies...): **

**fantasyfledglingmagic7- Thank you sooo much for the dare and keep an eye out for it cause I'm gonna use it in the next couple or so chapters! Plus your name might also get a shoutie! **

**dance - sing – read- you were my first review since I last updated since earlier this year- I think – So THANK You!**

**Disclaimer: don't think I've ever really done these but we all know that I own Twilight. Lol, jks, I'm pretty sure Stephanie Meyer (true owner of Twilight) actually has a life...*depressing thought***

**AND BACK TO THE CHAPTER AT HAND! ENJOY!**

Jasper POV

Seeing my dad walking over towards us with a look that I have never seen on his face before, just made my heart sink.

It made me begin to doubt myself and that is something I have never done before.

As Carlisle made his way towards us, all I could think of was my dear Alice and what kind of torture he would put her through to get back at me.

I turned and looked towards my little pixie and for the first time in my life I saw that all the excitement was out of her, replaced by complete and utter fear of the evils lurking in Carlisle's mind. Sure you're all probably thinking this Carlisle we are talking about, the man is a saint. But there is a first time for everything. Besides I'm pretty sure that in the years that our family built up he thought 'why me' at least a couple of times.

Plus there is also that one time where Alice decided it would be funny if she gave out Carlisle's number to all the single women in town saying that he and Esme were having a fight and that Carlisle needed some comforting. It wasn't true obviously, but that didn't stop them from continuously calling him every couple of minutes.

Carlisle knew who it was behind the rumour but every time he would get mad at my dear sweet angel I would calm him down...now thinking back maybe I should have just let the hand Carlisle played in the whole nurse incident go and punished Edward only. That way Carlisle might not have been so mad about the phone number incident and been seeking revenge right now.

In addition to handing out Carlisle's number to people, she did it during a time she knew Carlisle would not be able to change his number. Then I went and put him through the excruciating pain of having to talk about 'his feelings' for Edward, which obviously don't exist.

Me and my wife, we're a pair, we are...and I think we might even be worse than Emmett and his 'no-filter' brain which just sprouts out the first things that come to mind, even if they are the dumbest things a person could say...but then again this is Emmett we are talking about and the smartest thing he has been able to do so far is answer his middle name, the dumbest thing he has EVER and I mean EVER done is start this stupid game. This game is the stupidest thing that he has ever done due to the fact that it could quite possibly mean I'm going to face punishment from Alice in the form of no 'action' for a while and SEVERAL SHOPPING TRIPS!

...I'd sooner have my beloved motorbike destroyed rather than face a shopping trip with Alice. And that's saying something considering how much I absolutely LOVE my dear bike. (**A/N: just had to put that in there cause poor Jasper has no idea what is gonna happen to his bike! Plus I plan on having a sequel to this when they go back to forks!**)

But you know Carlisle wouldn't have been on the receiving end of Alice's mind if he hadn't taken away her credit card...but then again her credit card wouldn't have been taken away if she hadn't decided that she needed a completely new and bigger wardrobe.

I'm pretty sure that Carlisle nearly had a heart attack when the bill on her platinum card came up. I mean even I was shocked, who spends 2 million dollars on clothes? What made it worse was that it had only been a week since she had updated her wardrobe and Carlisle had told her to go easy on the money.

Yea this definitely makes us worse than Emmett...

Bella POV

I watched quietly as Carlisle made his way towards us and the look on his face reminded me so much of the look on Alice's face when she decides it's time for Bella Barbie time, that if I didn't know any better I would have said that they were related...

When Carlisle finally reached us, ui slowly lloked t the rest of my family to see their reactions.

Esme looked relaxed, as she should, considering there was no way he own husband would chose her for the dare. Rose looked slightly scared, but not for herself apparently, she was looking at Alice, Emmett just looked plain _gleeful_, Jasper looked like he was about to shit himself, Edward had his poker-face on like he didn't trust anyone, as he should. My beautiful angel was still asleep and I was hoping that Carlisle wouldn't be so evil as to choose her, but I think we all suspected who he would choose and that wasn't Nessie.

Then there was Alice of course...looking at her I saw the fear and nerves just rolling off of her like waves in a storm. I think she tried out her puppy dog eyes, but they didn't really work with the _very _visible gulp she took as well as the step away from Jasper.

"Well" Carlisle said, obviously happy despite the horrible ordeal he had to go through with that girl. "I think it's time for revenge, don't you?" he asked trying, but failing, to keep his smirk to himself.

"Although I'm pretty sure my choice is gonna shock you all, I'm sure I've made the right one. I've been alive for over 300 years and I have picked up on a few things on how to exact revenge on people. This is gonna be fun!" he finished with a very big smile.

When he said his choice would surprise us all everyone basically froze.

_Who was he gonna choose? _Was the only question going through my mind.

"Truth or dare..."Carlisle asked stunning us all into silence.

Alice POV

I will kill Jasper...well I won't, but I'll help Edward destroy that damn bike of his...stupid machine always ruining my hair.

I can't believe he would do this to me! He knows that Carlisle would exact his revenge on _me _once the dare is over.

I watched as my father came towards us and thought about my last shopping spree...he wasn't very happy with the fact that I had spent 2 million dollars on clothes, shoes, accessories and make-up. But I mean, come on! This is me we're talking about and everyone knows how much I love my clothes and shopping. Besides I'm a GIRL they should know that this is all we think about. Well, all of us except Bella maybe, but I'm going to change that and turn her into another Alice!

The thought of shopping however was out of my mind as quickly as it had come once I saw the evil smile on my father's face.

_What was he gonna do to me?_

I watched as he approached us and I tried to do my puppy dog face which works almost all the time for me to get what I want. This time however, I don't think it worked very well with the fear and nerves which I'm pretty sure everyone could see coming off of me.

I knew this because of the look that Rosalie was giving me, as well as the fact that everyone was staring at me with looks of fear.

When he finally got to us I took a step away from Jasper to show Carlisle that I did not agree with what Jasper had made him do.

I don't think it worked though, cause his smile got even wider.

"Well" Carlisle said, obviously happy despite the mortification of his dare and the pain he was inflicting on his family. "I think it's time for revenge, don't you?" he asked trying, but failing, to keep his smirk to himself.

"Although I'm pretty sure my choice is gonna shock you all, I'm sure I've made the right one. I've been alive for over 300 years and I have picked up on a few things on how to exact revenge on people. This is gonna be fun!" he finished with a very big smile.

When he said his choice would surprise us all everyone basically froze.

I think I had a tiny bit of hope still that he wouldn't choose me, so when he spoke the name of the person he had chosen I was frozen along with everyone else.

In fact I think I was gonna cry.

"Truth or dare..."Carlisle asked stunning us all into silence.

EVERONE ELSE POV

_WTF? _

Carlisle POV

Walking over to my family I decided to take my time and enjoy their obvious fear of me.

Everyone kept glancing at Alice expecting me to choose her.

Well, they will not be disappointed in the dare that Alice will receive.

I knew I had a huge smile only face as I made my way over to my family completely ignoring the stares I was getting from the other people in the vicinity.

When I finally approached them my smile got even widen when I saw Alice visibly gulp and take a step away from her husband, the man of my nightmares, Jasper.

It got even wider when I saw the feeble attempt Alice put into her puppy dog face thinking that it would change my mind of who I was to choose for my dare.

_Sorry dear, but that's not gonna work on me this time. _ I thought to myself gleefully.

Ahhhh the taste of revenge, it tastes better that I thought it would. I imagined it being bitter but it's really quite sweet. Now I finally understand when people say 'the taste of sweet revenge'. It all makes sense.

Now where was I? Oh, right. Family torture.

I looked at all the people in front of me and thought about my choice. Sur I was feeling a little guilty about it but I just pushed that away.

"Well" I said, obviously happy despite the mortification of my stupidly horrendous dare. But the fear in my family's eyes helped me to slightly get over Jasper's ridiculous dare. "I think it's time for revenge, don't you?" I asked them trying, but failing, to keep my smirk to himself, not that I cared, I needed some fun in my life. Torturing my family seemed to get me that fun! I think that girl was right...we need to see a therapist.

"Although I'm pretty sure my choice is gonna shock you all, I'm sure I've made the right one. I've been alive for over 300 years and I have picked up on a few things on how to exact revenge on people. This is gonna be fun!" I finished with a very big smile.

When I told them that my choice would surprise them all everyone basically froze.

Well this was obviously gonna be more fun than I thought!

"Truth or dare..."I asked asked stunning them all into silence, while the person I had chosen looked as if they wanted to cry. But soon enough they would see that this is a blessing in disguise...

? POV

No WAY!

**AN: sooo hat did you all think. I know I'm evil by giving you all a cliffy but I can't help it! If you all review I might just send you a teaser of the next chappie...but only if you want it! Let me know in a review and I'll send it. I have the next chapter all written and everything but I'm not gonna post it up cause I want reviews and yes I know I sound desperate, but that's only cause I am!**

**So, please send me some love the end of this super long authors note! I love you all and all the reviews are appreciated, even if it is to just tell me if you think that I should change some things! Criticism is really appreciated and reviews help me update faster cause as soon as I see a review I wanna write and once I start writing I generally can't stop! Sooo please leave me some LOVE! **

**I'm gonna try and update in a couple of days. **

**Thanks for reading! Love you! 3**


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